Wednesday, January 30, 2008


I was observing the rabbit in the science lab during chemistry today. Mr. Rabs has about three feet by three feet by two feet to roam, and a little shelf half as large with a ramp up to it, just in case he wants a view or some thrills. As I watched him trudging about his confines, I imagined him bounding across the prairie, or poking around the moss in a shady forest, or nestling up to his soulmate in a cozy rabbit hole. I imagined him happy and joyful, and the contrast was so sharp. I felt such a sadness for his plight, and then I started thinking about zoos and how I don't think I'll ever take my kids to the zoo. Just the fact that we're humans and they're animals doesn't give us license to take away their freedom. They need to runnnnn freeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

And so do I.

Sunday, January 27, 2008


Sometimes, the smiles are the symptoms.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


I find that art brings the most joy when done purely for the sake of doing it, not for an audience or to gain recognition or to make money. When Matt and I play together on Mondays, our jams can go for 15 minutes, just lost in the music, playing our hearts out, and it's so beautiful. One time we told a few friends passing to stay and hear this new song, promising that it would be good, and we played it, but it didn't feel right and the notes were wrong and it just wasn't pure.

As soon as there's an audience expecting to be entertained, something changes. It's like we're a company, and they're consumers.

I know I want to share that joy with people, though. Busking must be the answer!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


There is a sort of wandering optimism making its way through me today. How do I make it a fixture instead of a feeling, one that I know could prove to be fleeting so easily?

There's something about being "liked" that gives one more confidence and more optimism.

There's something about being loved that makes everything OK, even when the aforementioned are nonexistent.

From The Prophet by Khalil Gibran:
Only another breath will I breathe in this still air, only another loving look cast backward,
Then I shall stand among you, a seafarer among seafarers.
And you, vast sea, sleepless mother,
Who alone are peace and freedom to the river and the stream,
Only another winding will this stream make, only another murmur in this glade,
And then shall I come to you, a boundless drop to a boundless ocean.
The man's writing nearly defines beauty. It uplifts my soul. I'm only 10 pages into The Prophet and I am in love with it already. Read!

I will reach to the sky. I will reach through the confusion. I will reach my dreams.

Monday, January 21, 2008


My number one fear is that I will become normal. That I will listen to the voices and be rocked to sleep by their toxic lullabies. That I will fail to make this longing for adventure and love and wandering and joy and freedom from tradition and freedom from fear and freedom from the voices anything more than just a longing.

Friday, January 18, 2008

To Be Wanted

This touched me a bit, or something. From

Sunday, January 6, 2008


And if our ideas are dangerous, it is because we are those who love to live dangerously. And if our dreams are mad, it is because we are mad. But our madness is supreme wisdom. But our ideas are the heart of life; but our thoughts are the beacons of humanity. -Renzo Novatore

3:43 AM

there's something about couches
that makes you want to slide down a little further
let your he
ad fall a little closer
andon all plans to play hard-to-get
but then you re

there's no one there.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

People I Wish I Knew

Today I drove home from Michigan. I was a little tired, but not really having to fight to stay awake, because driving can be interesting if you make it. Sometimes I sneak a quick glance at the people in the cars I pass or that pass me, or I imagine what the people look like even though I can't see them. (Definitely influenced by their ride!) And then I wonder what their lives are like and what's important to them and if they're happy or sad. I wish that I could talk to them, hear their stories. And somehow when I actually have chances to talk to people that I don't know, I keep to myself, and I don't know why.

I saw something awesome today: a minivan with bright colored Christmas lights strung throughout the roof rack! I was so proud of those people, and I was so incredibly thankful that people like them exist, and even as I write this I'm not sure what was so special about it, it just was. It was inspiring, and it made me want to go caroling this summer.


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

2008: The Best Thing Since Sliced Mice!

The new year is here, and I wonder what it will bring. I wonder what great music and art will be created, what new relationships will be formed, what adventures will be undertaken, what losses will come.

This year, I want to really think all the time. To question all the time. To love truly, to create amazing things, to adventure, to take risks. I can't just coast through the days mindlessly like I've been doing way too much.

[interlude! i just thought of something awesome! ready? "I planned my past tomorrow." OK that's all :) ]

I know that the world is so much bigger than I realize. There's so much to learn, so much to discover. So much beauty and so many amazing people. I guess I'm looking forward to getting out of the bubble that I'm currently in. It could happen this summer. Stay tuned. :))

Happy 2008, all, like, 2 of you...