Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Earth D'eh / Death of Beauty

It's Earth Day. I should be excited. Excited that I can make a difference, that there's as much beauty left on this planet as there is, that I'm alive.

I'm not. I'm too lost in the collective labyrinth of apathy, comfortability, and selfishness. I say I want to do something but I don't. I say all I want for my life is to make a difference, and sometimes I make little mini-efforts and succeed in very small and finite moments, but I don't do anything lasting.

Tomorrow's two weeks since the end of my relationship with the most uniquely amazing girl I've ever met. It was a deep, beautiful, and incredible one, and its death was not close to being my choice. Her reasons were understandable and perhaps I'll come to see that it was for the best, but that doesn't quell the immense disconnect in my broken heart. Thoughts of her fill nearly every moment of thought that I have. I can't stop remembering all the dreams and touches and words. Who knows how long until I'm able to let go...

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