Sunday, February 15, 2009

first breath after coma

ahhhh how beautiful to lose oneself in music, drown in its depth, joy, and pain, to journey incredible soundscapes sitting in a new friend's car late at night, sharing the epic soul moments and awakenings that we are given by the songs that we love--

this is life! this is Life!! this is LIFE!!!!

telling and hearing stories of radical experiences, shy awkwardness giving way to serene understanding, falling over in the snow (always worth the joy of the slide), ditching the masses to walk in the icy air and marvel at the sky, trying to skip down the line in the middle of the road and running in erratic circles to stay warm, having a good cup of coffee with laughter...

and when i squint just right at the streetlights they explode up into the sky like fireworks

and when i look over to the drivers seat you are purely in the moment, head back and eyes closed mouthing the melody, air drumming with your hands and feet and i think about how beautiful your soul is my friend

and now i can feel it rising all over me inside me and the shivers run up and down my body as the cymbals and the horns and the strings and the choir and the soaring melody carry me on their wings to new heights and my face is locked into the widest grin i've had in months and for once i Feel, life holding my heart in its hands at last 

and i will not hold it in any longer!!
i open my palms to the universe and i suck deep into my lungs my first breath after coma.


yes, my saturday night was magnificent. i have of late been starved of these moments, so it was a veritable feast... and although it was cut short by the worried calls of those upon whom i am dependent, i am nothing but grateful. to life, to aforementioned wonderful acquaintance rapidly turned friend, to the crafters of the music that connects to our souls, to pretty much everything... and i haven't felt alive like this in a long time, i have been a robot with a broken motherboard, searching for myself and my identity and drowning in the caustic rhetoric and routine of blue mountain academy... and i am so relieved to reconnect to myself, to live in the innocent and fun and beautiful moments. all it took to snap out of the fog was the right company and the right situation. how wonderful!

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